Sundays are my happy days although, honestly, so are Mondays through Saturdays — and I’m never disappointed by the joy that Sunday mornings bring. But this past Sunday felt extra special. I was surprised by flowers, gifts, and the traditional birthday song, because today is both my birthday and the 32nd anniversary of Rev. LeRoy’s and my wedding.
Someone asked me how I honor my birthday each year, do I light a candle and make a wish, or have a special ritual? That question sent me down memory lane, thinking about birthdays past. Last year stood out because it was a milestone birthday, and friends whisked me away to an Airbnb to celebrate. I remember my 60th, when we were living in Virginia Beach, and I threw myself a party at a restaurant with friends — such a lovely time. And my 50th was unforgettable too, celebrated while I was in Ministerial School, when LeRoy planned a surprise party for me.
It’s fun to look back and feel those moments as if they were yesterday. Birthdays really are special, no matter how we choose to celebrate them.
The Four Agreements Series — The Second Agreement
This past week, we explored the Second Agreement: Don’t take it personally. Rather than asking us to toughen up or disconnect, this teaching invites us to return to our Sovereign Self, the inner place that knows our worth before the world names, judges, or misunderstands us.
Much of our emotional pain comes from personalization, assuming that others’ words, moods, or silence are about us. In truth, people often respond from their own history, fears, conditioning, or unmet needs. When we take things personally, we abandon ourselves and let outer circumstances define our inner truth.
We rarely see each other clearly; we see through layers of projection. Not taking things personally isn’t indifference; it’s discernment. It allows us to let others have their experience without turning it into a story about our value.
A major sign of personalization is the urge to manage others’ reactions. People-pleasing may look like kindness, but spiritually it is often fearing the belief that harmony must be earned by shrinking or over explaining. Unity reminds us we are already whole and worthy.
From a Unity perspective, our identity is rooted in divine life, not in praise, criticism, or silence. When we rest in this truth:
• Praise doesn’t inflate us
• Criticism doesn’t diminish us
• Silence doesn’t unsettle us
We can care without losing ourselves.
When we pause and question our assumptions “What am I making this mean about me?” we reclaim sovereignty. Release leads to clarity, and clarity leads to peace.
A Practice for the Week
When you notice yourself contracting or seeking approval, pause and remember: “I rest in my divine identity, untouched by appearances.”
Affirmation:
I release what is not mine to carry.
I rest in my divine identity.
Rooted in truth, I choose clarity, freedom, and peace.
Join us next week as we step into the Third Agreement, Don’t Make Assumptions, and discover how curiosity can soften fear and lead us back to spiritual clarity.
You are a blessing in my life,
Rev. Patricia Bessey
