Sunday Audio & Video Files

Sunday Audio & Video Files

 Watch previous Sunday talks here. Rev. Pat Bessey’s follow-up messages, published with the video files, provide additional insights and news about Unity Center for Spiritual Growth. 

Unity Center for Spiritual Growth welcomes your financial support for our digital outreach.


The Four Agreements: Always Do Your Best

There is some sadness in completing The Four Agreements as they have been transformational for me. I am being more impeccable with my words, remembering to not take things personally, to ask questions and not make assumptions and when I am doing all of these then I am always doing my best. 

Don Miguel Ruiz says, “This last agreement allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits. Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good. When you wake up refreshed and energized in the morning, our best will be better than when you are tired at night.” “Doing your best” is not synonymous with “being a perfectionist.”

Perfectionism is that insidious element, when allowed into our mind set causes pressure and stress that can lead to guilt, shame and feelings of failure.

Doing your best means to relax, let go and let Spirit express “your best” through you.

“Doing your best, you are going to live your life intensely. You are going to be productive, you are going to be good to yourself, because you will be giving yourself to your family, to your community, to everything, but it is the action that is going to make you feel intensely happy.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

When you do your best, it requires you to take action.

Doing your best is in alignment with our Unity teachings. We teach that we must take action in order to see a demonstration in our life.

“The first three agreements will only work if you do your best. Don’t expect that you will always be able to be impeccable with your word… but you can do your best. Don’t expect that you will never take anything personally; just do your best. Don’t expect that you will never make another assumption, but you can certainly do your best.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

Next week I will be taking time off and Rev. Matt Purinton will be speaking on Sunday. Please join him either in person, on Facebook Live or YouTube.

Have a great week!

You are a blessing in my life,
Rev. Patricia Bessey

The Four Agreements: Don’t Make Assumptions

September 1st, how have we gotten here…the older I become the more I am aware of the changes of seasons. We are about to say goodbye to summer and to welcome fall. Fall has always been a time of returning to the normal routines of our lives after a summer of fun and relaxation. The question I ask myself is, “What is normal? And  will I ever feel a sense of certainty in my life again?”

What I came to learn (after I reached out to Paul K. Chappell, and we had a Zoom call with my question “What is normal?”) that there are some basic needs we all have that go beyond our physical needs which we often turn to when looking for certainty or peace. Paul calls them non-physical needs, and these needs are what we use to navigate struggle, uncertainty and crisis, which is where we have been for the last year and a half.

Paul Chappell

Paul Chappell

Paul says on his website www.peaceliteracy.org, “Our research in Peace Literacy shows that people have many non-physical needs that are as important, if not more important, than their physical needs, especially when navigating struggle, uncertainty, and crisis. We’ve put together this series to discuss what these non-physical needs are, how people can meet them (and help others meet them) in healthy ways, how people during a crisis can become more vulnerable to tangles of trauma such as mistrust, rage, alienation, and helplessness, and how we can deal with trauma constructively rather than destructively. Each entry in this series will focus on one of humanity’s non-physical needs, along with practical ideas to help us create stronger relationships and communities.”

On Sept 19 I will be starting a new series using the nine non-physical needs that Paul outlines called “Leadership for Navigating Struggle, Uncertainty, and Crisis.” The non-physical needs are purpose and meaning, nurturing relationships, explanations, expression, inspiration, belonging, self-worth, challenge, and transcendence.

This past Sunday was the third agreement from the book The Four Agreements: Don’t Make Assumptions.

“We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking — we take it personally — then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. That is why whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.” — Don Miguel Ruiz

Thoughts to ponder from this week’s message:

Can you think of a time in your life where you made an assumption about a situation?

• Did you believe it to be the truth?
• Did you find out that it was not as you had assumed it to be?

How do you keep yourself from making assumptions?

• Make sure the communication is clear.
• Have the courage to ask questions until you are clear.
• Do not assume you know all there is about a given situation.

“Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.” — Matthew 7:1-2

Can you see how making assumptions is a way that we use to judge?

• Whenever we make an assumption about something without having the facts, it is in reality making a judgment.

Join me this Sunday, September 5, for the final agreement: Always Do Your Best.

You are a blessing in my life,
Rev. Patricia Bessey

The Four Agreements: Don’t Take Anything Personally


The women have gathered, and they are now known as the Unity Women’s Adventure Group aka UWAG.

Their first event will be on Friday at the Portland Art Museum followed by an event on Sunday. The group will also be walking the Mill Brook Preserve Trailhead at 50 Perry Court in Westbrook on Sunday at noon. This will be a two-mile walk.

Last week I gave you some thoughts to ponder and will do so each week. So here are this week’s thoughts.

“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in . . . even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. . .” — Don Miguel Ruiz

What happens when we take something personally?

We give our power away.
We get offended.
Conflict is created.
We feel the need to defend ourselves.
We feel the need to be right.

If you feel hurt by what someone else says, what is that about?

Ask the question of yourself: What inside of me is this person touching? More than likely, it is a wound in you that is not yet healed that is resonating with what is being said.

Our relationship with others is constantly letting us know what areas we still need to work on.

What can you expect if you don’t take what others say or do personally?

You learn to evaluate what others are saying and see if it is right for you.
You learn to trust yourself to make responsible choices.
You don’t have to take responsibility for other people’s choices.

“Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally. If they tell you how wonderful you are, they are not saying that because of you. You know you are wonderful. It is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful. Don’t take anything personally.” — Don Miguel Ruiz

Today and this week I invite you to live in such a way that whatever anyone does or says to you, it does not disturb the calm peace of your soul.

You are a blessing in my life,
Rev. Patricia Bessey

The Four Agreements: Be Impeccable with Your Word

Listen up women… after hearing from some women who have husbands or partners who would like to join with the single women and take adventures you have been heard! This group is now open to all women. The meeting to organize is scheduled for Friday at 6:30. If you are unable to attend, check Heart Thoughts for date and time for the first outing.

It is great having Julie Thompson back with us. She will be performing again this Sunday. Come join us. Masks are required and there is plenty of room for social distancing, should you want that.

Please check the calendar carefully, as dates and times of events are changing.

What a treat to be revisiting The Four Agreements. They are as relevant to me as they were when I did this series 10 years ago. As I was preparing for the talk, I reread the chapter on the first agreement, Be Impeccable with Your Word, and thought, “yes,” think before I speak to be sure what I am saying is raising the vibration of my thoughts and those of others.

I am not one who studies numbers; however, I like numerology. I do know a little bit about the power of the number four. Four faces or ages. The face of the child, the adolescent, the adult, the sage. Then we have the four seasons, spring, summer, fall and winter.

Four things that breathe. We have things that crawl, things that fly, and then the two legged (us) and four-legged species. Four elements – fire earth, air and water. Four directions – north, east, south and west. Four chambers in the human heart, left and right atrium (upper chambers) and left and right ventricle (lower chambers).

In Unity, four is the number of wholeness. The number 40 (which can be reduced to 4) written about in scripture over and over – a description of an initiation process of growth. Whether it is 40 days in the desert or 40 years in the wilderness, 40 means as long as it takes to move into the state of wholeness or to become aware of the wholeness that is already present. Or how long it takes to move into the promised land, which we also call heaven on earth. And don Miguel calls it a New Dream.

I am giving you some thoughts to ponder from this week’s message:

“In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
John 1:1

Your word is the power you use to create.
Are you using it to create positive or negative results in your life?

  • Be impeccable with your word. Impeccable comes from the Latin pecatus which means “sin.” The im in impeccable means “without,” so impeccable means “without sin.” (A sin is anything you do which goes against yourself.)
  • Being impeccable with your word is the correct use of your energy. This means to use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself.
  • I am being impeccable with my word when: I love myself, I will express that love in my interactions with others. My action will produce a like action.
  • I am not being impeccable with my word when: I am expressing anger against anyone for I am expressing it against myself.

I leave you with the acronym for S I N – self imposed nonsense…

Join me next week for the second agreement – Don’t Take Anything Personally.

You are a blessing in my life,
Rev. Patricia Bessey