The Five Love Languages: Keeping Your Love Tank Full

The Five Love LanguagesToday I began a new series based on the book The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. The Five Love Languages is a revolutionary concept, because, once grasped, people begin to express and experience love like they never have before.

Marriages, families, and friendships can be healed and reach new heights by paying attention to and applying the principles of the five love languages.

This revolutionary concept helps people understand how to keep their “love tank” filled up. It also helps them understand how to effectively and appropriately love those they relate to according to the love language preferences of others.

Chapman says: Most of us grow up learning the language of our parents and siblings, which becomes our primary or native language. Later we learn additional languages – but usually with much more effort. These become our secondary languages. We speak and understand best our native language. We feel most comfortable speaking that language.

He goes on to say…

If we speak only our primary language and encounter someone else who speaks only his or her primary language, which is different from ours, our communication will be limited. We must rely on pointing, grunting, drawing pictures, or acting out our ideas. We can communicate, but it is awkward. Language differences are part and parcel of human culture. If we are to communicate effectively across cultural lines, we must learn the language of those with whom we wish to communicate.

Like human languages, love is a language that we must learn and communicate. For us to have the kind of relationships that nurture and fill us it is important to learn the love language of our partners, children, and co-workers. Once we learn them the next step is to communicate with them in their love language.

Dr. Chapman has identified five different love languages. They are:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Receiving gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch


For the next five weeks I will be sharing on each of these so that you can identify your own love language and hopefully begin to see the love language of those in your life who matter to you.

You are a blessing in my life,
Rev. Pat

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