The Five Love Languages: Words of Affirmation

The Five Love LanguagesAs I continue with the series The Five Love Languages on Sunday based on the book by the same name written by Gary Chapman, we looked at “words of affirmation.”

Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” If we take Mark Twain literally, six compliments a year would have kept his emotional “love-tank” at the operational level. You, or your spouse, and I, will probably need many more than that!

Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. Haven’t we all, at some time or other, felt that we just weren’t being appreciated – that we were simply being taken for granted?

Let’s look at the word “affirmation.” To affirm something means to confirm its truth and to strengthen it. So when we says words of affirmation to someone whose love language is Words of Affirmation they are feeling loved and appreciated. Their love tank is being filled. Words of affirmation may be as simple as “you look great today.”

There are other types of affirmations. Words of appreciation…to appreciate something means to put extra value in it. When we say words of appreciation we are adding value to that person’s life – the value they have for themselves and the value they add to our lives. Words of appreciation also fill the love tank of those whose love language is words of affirmation.

There is another type of words also which we should be speaking to those whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation and they are encouraging words. The word ‘en-courage’ means ‘ to make courageous’. When we speak encouraging words we are putting courage into the other. And most of us need courage, don’t we? Life has a way of draining it out of us! We get our knocks and bruises in life – and it’s easy to withdraw from the challenging edge of life, and take shelter on the sideline. When we speak words of encouragement we are giving the other that extra energy – extra courage – to do something, to release some untapped potential in some area of their life. That potential may be awaiting your encouraging words which they otherwise probably would never do, without your support. That extra courage will make them feel loved – and their love-tank level will rise.

Thoughts for you to ponder this week might be:

  • How might I ‘learn’ to speak another “Love Language”?
  • On a scale of 0 – 10 how important is it to receive words of affirmation from someone you care about?


Join me next Sunday as we explore the love language of “Quality Time.”

You are a blessing in my life,
Rev. Pat

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