We continued this week with the series The Five Love Languages and I spoke about “quality time.” I used the biblical story of Martha and Mary to identify what your tendency might be. Do you have a Mary tendency to spend quality time with the one you love or a Martha tendency to be distracted by the tasks at hand? One is not better than the other; actually both are needed to have a balanced life.
What is Quality Time?
Quality time is when you give someone your undivided attention! Quality Time has to do with focused attention.
Here are some key points to help us understand about Quality Time. Quality time is spending time together and engaging in quality conversation. It is important to stay present to each other and don’t be multitasking while you are having quality time. Listen attentively to what is being said and watch for feelings that are being shared. This is a time to acknowledge without advising. For some of us this is not easy to do.
What is important to know about all of the love languages is that the giving and receiving has to be present for each. What I mean by this is that if your love language is “quality time” your love tank is being filled when you are sharing quality time with someone who is special to you as well as when that special person is being present to you and sharing quality time.
If your love language is not “quality time” then you also have to be sharing in the good coming from the time together. For you it may be recognizing how you are willing to find out what matters to your partner, child or friend and be present to them and not be distracted. Also you receive when that person acknowledges how grateful they are for your willingness to participate in whatever the activity is as they know it is not your love language and they see you making a real effort to fill their love tank.
I know it is true that we need to spend quality time together, in order to strengthen the emotional connections we have with one another. So if it is true for us – on a human level – it is also true for us on a spiritual level.
We can also develop our relationship with God as we spend quality time in prayer and meditation in God’s Presence. Many of the mystics of the past have been people who just delighted in spending countless hours in God’s presence. I would guess their love language might have been quality time.
If quality time is your love language – then you will feel emotionally and spiritually satisfied as you spend time in God’s presence – just being quiet. I bet your love tank will be filled as a result.
You are a blessing in my life,